Sunday, May 6, 2012

The Time I Almost Got Regis Philbin Hit By A Cab

Hey y'all! In order to distract myself from The Writer's Voice Contest I've decided to tell you about the time I nearly got Regis Philbin killed.

It wasn't on purpose, and it might not have been entirely my fault... well... how about I tell you the story and let you decide for yourself?

This happened waaaay back a billion years ago in 2001. I was a freshman at Pace University in New York City and best buds with my next door neighbor in the dorm. Now, I just tell everybody we were actual roommates because I really spent more time over there with her than in my own room*.

So, anyway. My next door neighbor had a huge crush on Hugh Jackman. I was head-over-heels for Heath Ledger (we both liked our Aussies!) And it turned out that Hugh Jackman was in town doing a press tour for his new movie with Ashley Judd Someone Like You. OF COURSE we had to go see him!

We even SKIPPED CLASS to do it. I know. I'd never, ever skipped a class ever. I didn't know college was different and you could show up whenever. It was a big deal. I'm a nerd. Whatevs.

My pal woke me up as she did every morning, by blasting her radio through the wall right next to my head and throwing a rubber ball just like Toby Zeigler on "The West Wing".

We did our hair and make-up and got all pretty because we just KNEW that Hugh Jackman would see us and fall madly in love with my friend. And, because Hugh Jackman is from Australia and so was Heath Ledger and since they were both actors they were automatically best friends so Hugh would introduce me to Heath who would then fall madly in love with me and they would be each other's best men at our weddings and we would all live happily ever after drinking champagne in our yachts and snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef.

By the time the subway ride was over and we made it uptown to the Live! With Regis and Kelly studio we had it all worked out. IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.

There was only us and a couple of other stalkers fans waiting so it was super easy to get stand-by tickets. While we were waiting outside to be called and my friend and I were thinking of what we were going to name our beautiful Australian children, I glanced across the street and saw Regis Philbin at the corner carrying a briefcase.

I poked my friend and said, "Hey! Look! It's Regis!"

Now, you have to remember, this was back in the hey day when Regis was all famous from doing his show with Kelly Ripa and also "Who Wants to be a Millionaire", you know, when it was still cool and Meredith Viera hadn't made it lame yet (I saw her too, later that same day over at The View, but that's Part 2 of this adventure)

For those of you around then, remember how fun it was to yell at your friends "HEY REEG!!" every time you saw them? Yeah. There I was watching the ACTUAL Regis Philbin in the FLESH come TOWARDS ME. So, of course 19 year-old Sarey thought it would be absolutely HYSTERICAL to scream that very thing at him.

He was way across the street.

He wouldn't see me.

There were other people around.

Even if he knew what direction I yelled from, he wouldn't know it was actually me.

So I turned to my friend and said, "Should I yell HEY REEG at him?"

She cracked up and said, "I dare you!"

It was a DARE. What was I supposed to do?

I sucked in a deep breath and yelled out "HEEEEY REEEEEG!!!"

Right when he was smack in the middle of the crosswalk.

And he stopped and looked around.

Right. In the middle. Of the street.

He stayed there, trying to figure out who yelled at him. My friend and I ducked for cover, but there was nowhere to go, so we just sort of held on to each other as the light changed.


A monstrous Yellow Cab revved up its engine and started to go.

I swear y'all, time stopped. It came SOCLOSE to running right over the poor man. I thought for sure he was a total gonner.

But just in time he got out of the way and ran to the curb.

When he got to our side of the street he looked at me and said, "Was that you? You coulda got me killed!"

I seriously thought about throwing myself right out in front of traffic right then and there. I was mortified. I couldn't even say anything. I watched him fix his coat and stroll right into the studio without a second glance.

I turned to my friend and we stared at each other for at least thirty seconds before I said, "I almost got Regis Philbin killed."

She nodded slowly.

"That was SO COOL!" she said.

And we erupted into a bouncing mess of girly squeals.

"Pfft," I said. "Everybody said I wouldn't actually meet anybody famous in New York. As if!"

And that was the time I almost got Regis Philbin killed by a cab.

*Takes bow*

Stay tuned for more of my adventures and tales with famous people. I know y'all want to hear about what it was like to touch Hugh Jackman (not like THAT. Get your minds out of the gutter people! WhatEVER, I shook his hand.) I can't make any promises as to when I'll post, but now that I know more people are following this than my cousin (Hi Holley!) I'll be more likely to try and keep you entertained. Feel free to throw rotten tomatoes my way if you haven't heard from me in awhile!


*Side Note: My ACTUAL roommate was a sex crazed maniac and it always smelled gross in there. She even kept a giant cucumber in the mini-fridge. I didn't ask questions, but I really hope she used a condom. Bless her.


Sarah said...

Lol! Very entertaining post! Good thing he didn't actually get hit though! (I was head-over-heels for Heath Ledger too, btw).

Krista Walsh said...

Bahahaha - remind me to travel with you sometime. Come with me to Comic Con in July, there are some people I really want to meet there! Or at least share your secret? Other than yelling at people in the street, because that just seems to get people angry.

Fantastic post! I love how you manage to turn these moments into epic hilarious adventures. It's just you all over hehe

Sarah L. Blair said...

I want to go to Comic Con SO BAD! Unfortunately, I'll be carrying around a giant beach ball in July, but definitely next year?!

Bobby Mathews said...

oh my goodness, Sarah. i didn't just chuckle at this, i outright cackled. great story. :-)