Revision Feels

So, I've been revising my MS and last week I was all

because I read everything I had so far and I loved it so, so, so hard!

Except, then I wrote this one chapter that I loved a little too hard, and when I sat down to write the next chapter it was kind of like maybe I'd set the bar too high and 

But that was okay, I figured I'd take a day or two to let it simmer. You know, brainstorm a little. Everything was TOTALLY under control. 

Then REAL LIFE happened and I got stuck doing mommy things and Peanut was like

So that one day of brainstorming turned into 

 and I just now went to look things over so I could yanno, find my groove. But instead of

I ended up staring at my words like

and the more I read through the more it felt as if

All I could do was go talk to my friend who's also in the middle of revisions and guess what? She's revising SO HARD she got a sty in her eye so she's like

That's dedication you guys. I'm not even close to sty level yet. But this was really bugging me, so I asked her

then she used the force, because that's how she rolls, and she was all

Um. Yeah. This is why I'm glad I have smart friends. Because, really. That's all this is. I'm kind of scared. Scared this will be really good and I won't be able to do better. Scared it's not good enough and I'll end up broken and bitter and calling QVC at 3 in the morning

But the reality is, it falls somewhere in between. I'm a good writer. I know that. I can do this. It will never be absolutely perfect, but I can and I WILL get this MS to be as good as it can be. That's why I have amazing support. I have people who are honest and loving and helpful to call me out on my 

but also 

when I write something awesome. Sure, most of the time 

and I just want to 

But that's okay because

I just can't forget that even though writing can be really scary and hard

I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

It's going to be so, so, so worth it because I'll be one step closer to 

For now I just have to take one of these

and I'm sure that when I look at my MS again I'll be like 

It's not so bad after all.